Who Are You?

It's Halloween. Wear a mask if you must, but wouldn't it free your soul to take your mask off once and for all and let the world see the beauty that is you?

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

For The Strong Only

The most important thing I can tell you about aging is this: If you really feel that you want to have an off-the-shoulder blouse and some big beads and thong sandals and a dirndl skirt and a magnolia in your hair, do it. Even if you're wrinkled.  ~~Maya Angelou

In general, I feel pretty good about myself...including my age. But nothing snaps me back to reality as quickly as when one of my students mentions they wouldn't want to live to be "old" because...well...it's not good to be old.

Yikes! I had to take a moment to recenter myself because of that remark. I am older than I feel for sure. But still, I don't consider myself "old". I mean, "old" is someone who's 90 or 95...isn't it?

My new mantra is "I'll never be as young as I am today. Today is the youngest day of the rest of my life..." (Rochelle Ford, 76 year-old Metal Sculptor)

Embrace your age, whatever it is. It's only a number, and we can make numbers dance to the music we want to play. 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Can Anybody Hear Me?

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."

~~Peter F. Drucker

Actions speak louder than words. In fact, communication is more than words.  Did you know that 93% of communication is non-verbal and only 7% is the words you speak?  Here are

Difficult Praise

Accept praise and believe it as readily as you would criticism.

Open Your Mind, Open Your Life. A Little Book of Eastern Wisdom

When faced with a compliment, do you accept it or bat it away like a bee buzzing near your face? Why is it that praise is so difficult to accept, but we embrace criticism like

Unknown

                                                              www.mindfears.com

Step into the unknown. Open yourself up to the unknown. You'll be amazed at the outcome.

Now that I am full-time counselor/faculty, I'm exploring ways to get involved on campus. When an email came about the Diversity & Inclusion Committee, I eagerly

Big Brother Lives Here

                                                            a1securitycameras.com

My husband bought an in-home security camera which he set up in our living room and leaves on round the clock. His friend installed one in his home, and suddenly my better half thinks it's imperative that we have this extra layer of security. When I am in the living room, I put a throw pillow in front of it because I have no desire to be filmed. He assured me that it's totally secure with footage being saved on The Cloud.  Ha...no problems there.

We have some fundamentally different ideas of how this should work. My idea is that we should turn it on when we are gone in case someone breaks in. His thought is that someone could walk into the house when I go to the mailbox...which takes about a minute. He thinks I'm unreasonable not wanting to be filmed, and I think he's pushing some boundaries expecting me to comfortable with my every move captured.

The promo on the website says it's good for security and also lots of fun to share footage with friends. Seriously??? Let's face it...we're not the Kardashians, although I can't fathom why anyone finds their lives all that interesting.

One thing the website and the limited instructions that came with the packaging doesn't readily explain is how to turn the darn thing off. So until I can find that off switch, the throw pillow is what's keeping my personal moments secret.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Password-mania

I don't know about you, but it seems that I have way too many online accounts with way way too many passwords.  It was so much easier B.H. (Before Hackers) when one password across all accounts was safe. But now the threat of someone on the other side of the world hacking into your account and retrieving your password makes multiple passwords a necessity.

Now I have a folder on my desk with two pages of accounts and passwords. There are between six and eight passwords, and to be extra safe I rotate them periodically. My problem is the list is on my desk at home, and when I forget a password I'm generally somewhere else. Another problem is that usually after about three wrong password tries, the system suspends your account until you can prove you are you...which isn't always easy.

I thought of emailing a list of passwords to myself, but what if someone hacks into my email? What about one of the "password keeper" apps? Again, what if someone hacks into that?

Perhaps I'm going to try living on the edge and change all my passwords to the same one so I can keep my sanity. I'll let you know how that works out for me.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Good Fortune

Today, I was thinking about how fortunate I am...great family, true friends, beautiful home and the best job. Since 1999, I've been employed as an adjunct counselor/faculty at a local community college. About two months ago, an opportunity arose to become an annual contract employee. Of course, I jumped at the chance.

The start was a little rocky...you know I am accustomed to lots of leisure time. But, with each passing week, I am getting more attuned to a full-time position and all the benefits and responsibilities that it carries. Sometimes I'm frustrated by the "administrivia" that comes my way...mostly meeting after meeting. But the learning taking place is incredible. Not only am I aware of the procedures, I'm in on the behind-the-scenes stuff about why these procedures are here. Although I'm not a big fan of the politics of the organization, it is interesting to learn about what's really going on.

So on those days when I'm feeling frustrated and frazzled, I think about being able to help so many more students with my counseling and teaching and how the extra money is allowing me to catch up on some things that were not really a priority.

Having an attitude of gratitude is a wonderful way to perceive life. Good fortune is truly a blessing.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

With Apologies to Dr. Seuss

I love my job. I love the pay!

I love it more and more each day.

I love  my boss, he is the best.

I love his boss and all the rest.

I'm happy to be here. I am. I am.

I'm the happiest employee, oh that I am.

I love this work. I love the hours.

I love the meetings. I love the power.

I love my job. I'l say it again.

I'm happy to be here, with all my friends.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
                                   A terrible thing: no one to blame."
                                                                                             ~~ Erica Jong

I was licking the last bits of chocolate frosting from my fork this morning, when it occurred
to me that it was my husband’s fault I was eating this. After all, if he hadn’t brought the
cake home, I would have never caved in to the temptation. He always does this to
me – bringing home cakes, cookies or candy when he knows I can’t resist them. In his own

Self Made

We are all self made but only the successful will admit it.
~~Earl Nightingale

I heard a speaker say this, and it resonated with me. So often, when life seems to be going in the wrong direction or things just don't seem to be working out as planned, we look for someone who led us astray. Fortunately, we need look no further than the nearest mirror.

One thing I know for sure is that we are all responsible for one person, and that person is the one we live very closely with and know at the most intimate level...you know...it's the face staring back at us from the mirror. We often can't stand to admit it, but the reality, harsh though it may be, is that we have made our life into what it is...whether we like it or not.

So if you don't like the person your self made, remake yourself. It's totally possible and easier than you think.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Learn A New Language

                                                              www.betternetworker.com
                                                                 

The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
~~Albert Einstein

I’m a big believer in incorporating positive self-talk into my life by saying positive affirmations, and I encourage others to do the same. Recently someone pointed out to me how simplistic this strategy was. After all, why did I think that thinking happy thoughts would make life better. In short, positive affirmations were a waste of time and didn’t improve anything.

I beg to differ. How would we possibly know if positive thinking really worked – we do it so seldom. Statistics indicate that people have roughly 10,000 thoughts every day. The kicker is that 80% of them are negative. That means that for every “I’m a good person and in control of my own life” thought that runs through your brain, there are 4 “I’m not good enough and I never do anything right” thoughts to counteract it. For every pat on the back you indulge in, you kick yourself in the pants 4 times!

We readily accept our negative thoughts and shun compliments. When someone says you look nice what is your immediate thought? My guess is that you don’t tell yourself “You know, they’re right. I do look nice today.” You probably think that your hair is a mess, you’re not wearing any makeup, or your clothes make you look fat. When someone tells you that you did a good job how often do you say “You’re right. I did do a good job.” Instead, you probably respond with a litany of all the things you did wrong.

Why are we so adamant about holding on to our negative thinking? What purpose does it serve except to keep us down? Yet we embrace our negative thoughts as absolute truths. Which one of us can say with any honesty that thinking about how our life is crap and there’s nothing we can do about it makes us feel better? So why are we so resistant to adding positive affirmations to our self-talk? Maybe it’s too much trouble to learn this new language.

We’ve been conditioned all through life to play ourselves down. We don’t ever want to get too full of ourselves. People won’t like us if we think we’re too good. It’s wrong to “toot your own horn” or “pat yourself on the back”. Don’t brag about your achievements. Actually, I think now is the perfect time to re-condition yourself. Start patting yourself on the back, tooting your own horn and bragging about what you do. If you don’t, who will? Today is the day to start turning that “negative-to-positive thought ratio” around.

You are a good person. You are worthwhile. You do deserve good things. You are not too ugly, too stupid, too uncoordinated, or too anything else that you might say to yourself. The sooner you start accepting that, the better your life will be.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

This post first appeared in It's All In Your Head in May, 2013.

Laughing and Sleeping

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

~~Irish Proverb

I have been wearing an UP24 fitness tracker that I received as a gift on Mothers Day. It's wonderful at keeping track of the steps I take (although I haven't quite given up my pedometer to double check my UP). But the one thing I have noticed is my sleep pattern. Through the summer months, I was lucky if I slept 6 hours a night. No wonder my eyes felt like I was looking through sandpaper.

With my new awareness, I made it a point to go to bed earlier, since sleeping later is not an option for me. To my amazement, I noticed a difference...I actually felt better. My total sleep gradually increased over the weeks and last weekend, I actually slept for 7 hours and 15 minutes. This was a new record for me...a PB (Personal Best).

I feel better and am more productive. Imagine that...sleeping your way to an improved life. Now if I only had something to track my laughter.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com