Happy New Year

Wishing you a New Year filled with peace and love from you and to you. Believe that blessings are coming your way, and they will appear...as long as you are open to seeing them.

 

New Year Blessings

 

 

 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

 

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com



The Happiness Jar

Happiness doesn't come from things you accumulate...it shows up when you begin to appreciate what you already have.

I saw this on Twitter and it piqued my interest.  The Tweet encouraged followers to create their own Happiness Jar for 2015, and the instructions seemed simple enough. Apparently, this idea comes from Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love.

1. Find a jar...any jar...and decorate it any way you like. For me, it will probably be a note taped to the front of a washed out pickle jar with the words, Happiness Jar, printed as neatly as I can print them. Maybe I'll add a nice bow around the neck of the jar if I can find some scraps of ribbon.

2.  Beginning January 1st, and daily thereafter, write one good thing that happened to you during that day.  This doesn't need to be earth-shattering. In fact, something as small as "hot cocoa with marshmallows", "snuggling with my dog" or "I was kind to a stranger" will do very nicely. NOTE: if you  miss a day every so often, don't beat yourself up. Just pick up where you left off.

3.  Put the note in the jar. You can write your notes on paper you've designated especially for your jar if you like. I will probably put my notes on any scrap of paper I can find because I'm just not that organized.

4.  Whenever you're feeling a little down, reach into your jar and pick out a random note to remind yourself of how blessed you are.

Some variations of this project might be to have a jar with each of your children's names on it and add a daily note sharing one thing you love and appreciate about them. You can also do this for your spouse or other special person in your life. After one year, you can present the jar to your child/spouse/friend to show you thought about them every day. If you're the crafty type, you could also make the notes into a collage before giving it to the person.

One thing I know is we find what we're looking for. This project will cause you to look for some small piece of goodness each day. Who knows...looking for the good might even become a habit that you can't break.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

The Aftermath

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created

in the living room on Christmas Day.

~~ Andy Rooney

 

I hope your Christmas was all that you hoped for. As you clean up the mess left behind, give thanks for the people in your life who helped you celebrate.

 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Merry Christmas



For unto you this day is born this day in the City of David a Saviour, which is Christ The Lord. 
 
~~Luke 2:11

Wishing all of you a very blessed and peaceful Christmas.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

3 Days Until...

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.

~~Donald Westlake

 

 

Three days until Christmas.  Remember with joy the people you love and those who love you. It makes it all worthwhile.

 

 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

 

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com



Relax--It's Just Christmas!

This post first appeared in It's All In Your Head on December 16, 2013





As I look around my house, I see the Christmas tree which still needs to be decorated, gifts to be wrapped, other decorations to be hung, groceries to be bought, a house to be cleaned, goodies to be baked...

It's All About Stress

With the holidays looming large, stress is a timely topic.  With that in mind, I'd like to share a post from a colleague, Phillip Rosenbaum of The Self Esteem Academy. Phil is a Psychologist and a Licensed Professional Counselor who uses his training in hypnosis to bring about rapid results with

You Say What You Think...

You SAY what you think...You DO what you feel.

Have you ever wondered why people find it so difficult to change? You try to stop smoking and the cigarettes lure you back like an old friend. When your clothes are a little snug, you know your eating patterns need to change, yet you quickly slip back to the same old routines. And you promise yourself you'll start going to the gym, and maybe you start off with a bang, but it's not long before the gym becomes a chore. It's easier to return to our comfort zone...to the patterns that are so ingrained that we don't even have to think about them.

The reason for this is that emotions exert a stronger pull on our actions than our thoughts. Think about your feelings when you're passionate about something and how easy it seems to plunge into action.  Now think about something you know you should do, but there's little emotional pull, so it's pretty easy to just not start.

When you want or need to change something in your life, you must find a way to ignite passion about it inside of you. You must link the change to something you find irresistible. That's how lasting change happens in your life. That's how lasting change continues in your life.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Don't Laugh At Me

To all of us who know the pain of being different...

Don't Laugh At Me by Mark Wills


I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet

I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone crossed that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign, so

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me
---Lyrics powered by LyricFind
written by SESKIN, STEVE / SHAMBLIN, ALLEN
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Read more at http://www.lyrics.com/dont-laugh-at-me-lyrics-mark-wills.html#0CjikH5Y6TwmpYv2.99

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Key #10 Love Yourself

This is the final and most important Key of all. Without loving yourself, you can never truly have emotional freedom. If I asked you “Do you love yourself?” your answer would probably be “Of course I do”. In fact, you may wonder why I’d even consider asking the question – doesn’t everyone love herself or himself? Yet while you say you love yourself, how do you show it?  

Are you kind to yourself? Do you take time for yourself – sacred time that’s only for you? Do you have a sacred space for yourself that’s decorated the way you want it decorated where you can go to find comfort and relaxation? Do you set boundaries for your life that let other people know how you expect to be treated? If someone crosses your boundaries, do you ignore it or do you confront them and, with love and grace, tell them how you expect to be treated?

When things go wrong, do you wallow in self-pity -- or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on because you know life will get better. When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself and tell yourself that you never get it right – or do you shower yourself with forgiveness because you know you’ll do better the next time?

How’s your health? Are you a junk food junkie--Do you eat a diet high in sugar and starch or do you eat healthy foods to fuel your body? Are your meals eaten mindlessly, in a rush – or are they eaten leisurely, in a calm, pleasant atmosphere where you can be conscious of your food and what it tastes like? Do you spend your leisure time slouched in front of the television watching the latest reality show or do you spend quality time interacting with family and friends? Do you get 8 hours of sleep at night, or do you short-change yourself hoping to make up for lost sleep during the weekend?

You might think that self-love is automatic, but it’s not. Step back for a moment and take stock of your life. Be conscious of how you spend your time and how you treat yourself and others. Be aware of yourself and your life. And, above all, Love Yourself.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

 

Key #9 Celebrate Your Wholeness

valeriesjodin.com

 

 

We are all perfect in our imperfections...perfectly imperfect.

You are unique. There will never be another person exactly like you. Each of us, including you, is born with the seeds of greatness planted inside just waiting to blossom. But those seeds must be nurtured. They need kind words, faith in God, and a belief that they can grow.  

What often happens is that as your seeds of greatness start to grow, the weeds move in and begin to strangle them. Weeds come in the form of self-doubt – you doubt your ability, your strength, your courage and your wisdom. Weeds come in the form of fear – fear that you’ll fail, you’ll be laughed at, and that others will learn that you are a phony. And weeds come in the form of loss of power – you give up your power to others when you accept their philosophy that risk-taking is bad, that you should play it safe and never try to do anything on a grand scale. Don’t step outside of your comfort zone -- there’s danger out there.

You’ll return to wholeness when you erase your limiting beliefs. You feel stuck because you’ve bought into the belief that you’re inadequate. So you look for ways to overcome your feeling of unworthiness. You carry around what you learned in childhood – that if you were lovable enough, if you were good enough, if you were worthy enough, you wouldn’t be hurt, abused or abandoned by your parents and others in your life – people you trusted and who should have loved you. You believe that you’ll never measure up. When you try something and fall short of your goal, it reaffirms this belief – “See I was right. I’m not good enough. I’ll never make it.”

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be in your life – and it’s neither good nor bad. It just is. Les Brown said to “consider it pure joy when you’re going thru some stuff—it’s how you learn”. Every person who enters your life is a teacher. You must realize that there are gifts and lessons in all of your experiences. Even when the worst thing you could imagine happens to you, there is a gift and a lesson in there somewhere – you just need to step back, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and figure out what it is you’re supposed to learn from your experience. And then act on it. Knowing what you’re supposed to learn and doing nothing about it is meaningless. Erase your limiting beliefs and you will be able to celebrate your wholeness!

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!
 
Cindy
cakozak88@hotmail.com

Key #8 Calm Your Spirit

Remember...just breathe

 







There can be no emotional freedom without a calm spirit. So what does that mean? Your spirit is calm when you believe in yourself – when you love yourself and know that you are following your path. A calm spirit means that you’re at peace with yourself – and you’re at peace with those around you.  

There are many ways to calm your spirit, like meditation, yoga, journaling, taking a walk by yourself or finding a quiet place to pray. The thing is, they all require you to set aside some sacred time for yourself. I know what you’re about to say – “I don’t have time. My days are full already and I can’t possibly squeeze in another activity”. I hear this over and over from the people I work with, and my response is that you can’t possibly NOT squeeze in time for this. The truth of the matter is that we all have the same 24 hours every day – no more and no less. So it’s not really about how much time you have – it’s about how you set your priorities. 

You need to make your life a priority. Make time now to care for yourself – or take time later to care for yourself when the stress of your neglect takes its toll in the form of depression, high blood pressure, heart disease and all the other stress-related things that can happen to your body. Calm your spirit and find peace within yourself.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

 Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Key #7 Declutter Your Life

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

 





Have you ever noticed how clutter just seems to creep up on you? It starts with one magazine left on the kitchen counter that mysteriously builds into a stack, one plastic grocery bag in the cupboard that multiplies into at least a hundred, the bills, newspapers,

Happy Thanksgiving!

May you all have a Thanksgiving filled with gratitude for the important things in your life!

 

Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter

 

 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEART!

 

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Key #6 Dangerous Words

When you know and believe the power of  your thoughts, you become very careful what you think about.

Our brain is always turned on -- like a tape that’s running 24/7. And we have two voices on that tape. One voice protects and nurtures us and tells us how well we’re doing and how great we can become which I like to refer to as our Spirit. The other voice, which I call our

Key #5 The Guilt Train

Don't wallow in guilt for what you did or didn't do. It changes nothing!

 

Guilt is a natural response and it’s appropriate when you do something that goes against your values. Your conscience makes you feel uncomfortable when you disobey rules that you really think should be obeyed. However, guilt implies choice. There’s also unhealthy guilt

Key #4 Be Courageous

You must do the thing you think  you cannot do.

~~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

You were born with only two natural fears – the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear you have has been learned. Governments, cultures, and even families use fear as a method of control. Your parents probably told you not to run out into the street

Key #3 Take Risks

 

Use your talents. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang

except those that sang best.

~~Henry Van Dyke

 

Helen Keller said that “life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing”. For your life to have meaning, you must take risks to find out who you are and what you want. Life without risk

Key #2 Establish Your Rights

 Your life is a playground, and your boundaries are your rules.

Do other people in your life take advantage of you, tease you, or treat you in ways that you find unacceptable? Establish your rights by setting boundaries for your life. You teach people how to treat you, and boundaries are one way to enhance your life by letting them

Key #1 Chart Your Course

When you don't know where you're going...any road will do.

If I came to you and said “let’s go on a vacation” your first response would probably be “where are we going?” What if my response was “I don’t have a clue”? You might think I was crazy. Why would you ever consider going on a vacation without knowing the destination? A

10 Keys To Emotional Freedom

                                   

The key is always found within.

 

Have you ever considered what would it be like to be emotionally free? To believe that you’re a complete person just as you are, and that you don’t need someone else to make you whole? What would it be like to do things for yourself? To build your own self-image, without

Who Are You?

It's Halloween. Wear a mask if you must, but wouldn't it free your soul to take your mask off once and for all and let the world see the beauty that is you?

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

For The Strong Only

The most important thing I can tell you about aging is this: If you really feel that you want to have an off-the-shoulder blouse and some big beads and thong sandals and a dirndl skirt and a magnolia in your hair, do it. Even if you're wrinkled.  ~~Maya Angelou

In general, I feel pretty good about myself...including my age. But nothing snaps me back to reality as quickly as when one of my students mentions they wouldn't want to live to be "old" because...well...it's not good to be old.

Yikes! I had to take a moment to recenter myself because of that remark. I am older than I feel for sure. But still, I don't consider myself "old". I mean, "old" is someone who's 90 or 95...isn't it?

My new mantra is "I'll never be as young as I am today. Today is the youngest day of the rest of my life..." (Rochelle Ford, 76 year-old Metal Sculptor)

Embrace your age, whatever it is. It's only a number, and we can make numbers dance to the music we want to play. 

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Can Anybody Hear Me?

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."

~~Peter F. Drucker

Actions speak louder than words. In fact, communication is more than words.  Did you know that 93% of communication is non-verbal and only 7% is the words you speak?  Here are

Difficult Praise

Accept praise and believe it as readily as you would criticism.

Open Your Mind, Open Your Life. A Little Book of Eastern Wisdom

When faced with a compliment, do you accept it or bat it away like a bee buzzing near your face? Why is it that praise is so difficult to accept, but we embrace criticism like

Unknown

                                                              www.mindfears.com

Step into the unknown. Open yourself up to the unknown. You'll be amazed at the outcome.

Now that I am full-time counselor/faculty, I'm exploring ways to get involved on campus. When an email came about the Diversity & Inclusion Committee, I eagerly

Big Brother Lives Here

                                                            a1securitycameras.com

My husband bought an in-home security camera which he set up in our living room and leaves on round the clock. His friend installed one in his home, and suddenly my better half thinks it's imperative that we have this extra layer of security. When I am in the living room, I put a throw pillow in front of it because I have no desire to be filmed. He assured me that it's totally secure with footage being saved on The Cloud.  Ha...no problems there.

We have some fundamentally different ideas of how this should work. My idea is that we should turn it on when we are gone in case someone breaks in. His thought is that someone could walk into the house when I go to the mailbox...which takes about a minute. He thinks I'm unreasonable not wanting to be filmed, and I think he's pushing some boundaries expecting me to comfortable with my every move captured.

The promo on the website says it's good for security and also lots of fun to share footage with friends. Seriously??? Let's face it...we're not the Kardashians, although I can't fathom why anyone finds their lives all that interesting.

One thing the website and the limited instructions that came with the packaging doesn't readily explain is how to turn the darn thing off. So until I can find that off switch, the throw pillow is what's keeping my personal moments secret.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Password-mania

I don't know about you, but it seems that I have way too many online accounts with way way too many passwords.  It was so much easier B.H. (Before Hackers) when one password across all accounts was safe. But now the threat of someone on the other side of the world hacking into your account and retrieving your password makes multiple passwords a necessity.

Now I have a folder on my desk with two pages of accounts and passwords. There are between six and eight passwords, and to be extra safe I rotate them periodically. My problem is the list is on my desk at home, and when I forget a password I'm generally somewhere else. Another problem is that usually after about three wrong password tries, the system suspends your account until you can prove you are you...which isn't always easy.

I thought of emailing a list of passwords to myself, but what if someone hacks into my email? What about one of the "password keeper" apps? Again, what if someone hacks into that?

Perhaps I'm going to try living on the edge and change all my passwords to the same one so I can keep my sanity. I'll let you know how that works out for me.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Good Fortune

Today, I was thinking about how fortunate I am...great family, true friends, beautiful home and the best job. Since 1999, I've been employed as an adjunct counselor/faculty at a local community college. About two months ago, an opportunity arose to become an annual contract employee. Of course, I jumped at the chance.

The start was a little rocky...you know I am accustomed to lots of leisure time. But, with each passing week, I am getting more attuned to a full-time position and all the benefits and responsibilities that it carries. Sometimes I'm frustrated by the "administrivia" that comes my way...mostly meeting after meeting. But the learning taking place is incredible. Not only am I aware of the procedures, I'm in on the behind-the-scenes stuff about why these procedures are here. Although I'm not a big fan of the politics of the organization, it is interesting to learn about what's really going on.

So on those days when I'm feeling frustrated and frazzled, I think about being able to help so many more students with my counseling and teaching and how the extra money is allowing me to catch up on some things that were not really a priority.

Having an attitude of gratitude is a wonderful way to perceive life. Good fortune is truly a blessing.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

With Apologies to Dr. Seuss

I love my job. I love the pay!

I love it more and more each day.

I love  my boss, he is the best.

I love his boss and all the rest.

I'm happy to be here. I am. I am.

I'm the happiest employee, oh that I am.

I love this work. I love the hours.

I love the meetings. I love the power.

I love my job. I'l say it again.

I'm happy to be here, with all my friends.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
                                   A terrible thing: no one to blame."
                                                                                             ~~ Erica Jong

I was licking the last bits of chocolate frosting from my fork this morning, when it occurred
to me that it was my husband’s fault I was eating this. After all, if he hadn’t brought the
cake home, I would have never caved in to the temptation. He always does this to
me – bringing home cakes, cookies or candy when he knows I can’t resist them. In his own

Self Made

We are all self made but only the successful will admit it.
~~Earl Nightingale

I heard a speaker say this, and it resonated with me. So often, when life seems to be going in the wrong direction or things just don't seem to be working out as planned, we look for someone who led us astray. Fortunately, we need look no further than the nearest mirror.

One thing I know for sure is that we are all responsible for one person, and that person is the one we live very closely with and know at the most intimate level...you know...it's the face staring back at us from the mirror. We often can't stand to admit it, but the reality, harsh though it may be, is that we have made our life into what it is...whether we like it or not.

So if you don't like the person your self made, remake yourself. It's totally possible and easier than you think.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Learn A New Language

                                                              www.betternetworker.com
                                                                 

The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
~~Albert Einstein

I’m a big believer in incorporating positive self-talk into my life by saying positive affirmations, and I encourage others to do the same. Recently someone pointed out to me how simplistic this strategy was. After all, why did I think that thinking happy thoughts would make life better. In short, positive affirmations were a waste of time and didn’t improve anything.

I beg to differ. How would we possibly know if positive thinking really worked – we do it so seldom. Statistics indicate that people have roughly 10,000 thoughts every day. The kicker is that 80% of them are negative. That means that for every “I’m a good person and in control of my own life” thought that runs through your brain, there are 4 “I’m not good enough and I never do anything right” thoughts to counteract it. For every pat on the back you indulge in, you kick yourself in the pants 4 times!

We readily accept our negative thoughts and shun compliments. When someone says you look nice what is your immediate thought? My guess is that you don’t tell yourself “You know, they’re right. I do look nice today.” You probably think that your hair is a mess, you’re not wearing any makeup, or your clothes make you look fat. When someone tells you that you did a good job how often do you say “You’re right. I did do a good job.” Instead, you probably respond with a litany of all the things you did wrong.

Why are we so adamant about holding on to our negative thinking? What purpose does it serve except to keep us down? Yet we embrace our negative thoughts as absolute truths. Which one of us can say with any honesty that thinking about how our life is crap and there’s nothing we can do about it makes us feel better? So why are we so resistant to adding positive affirmations to our self-talk? Maybe it’s too much trouble to learn this new language.

We’ve been conditioned all through life to play ourselves down. We don’t ever want to get too full of ourselves. People won’t like us if we think we’re too good. It’s wrong to “toot your own horn” or “pat yourself on the back”. Don’t brag about your achievements. Actually, I think now is the perfect time to re-condition yourself. Start patting yourself on the back, tooting your own horn and bragging about what you do. If you don’t, who will? Today is the day to start turning that “negative-to-positive thought ratio” around.

You are a good person. You are worthwhile. You do deserve good things. You are not too ugly, too stupid, too uncoordinated, or too anything else that you might say to yourself. The sooner you start accepting that, the better your life will be.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

This post first appeared in It's All In Your Head in May, 2013.

Laughing and Sleeping

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

~~Irish Proverb

I have been wearing an UP24 fitness tracker that I received as a gift on Mothers Day. It's wonderful at keeping track of the steps I take (although I haven't quite given up my pedometer to double check my UP). But the one thing I have noticed is my sleep pattern. Through the summer months, I was lucky if I slept 6 hours a night. No wonder my eyes felt like I was looking through sandpaper.

With my new awareness, I made it a point to go to bed earlier, since sleeping later is not an option for me. To my amazement, I noticed a difference...I actually felt better. My total sleep gradually increased over the weeks and last weekend, I actually slept for 7 hours and 15 minutes. This was a new record for me...a PB (Personal Best).

I feel better and am more productive. Imagine that...sleeping your way to an improved life. Now if I only had something to track my laughter.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Unplug and Be Present

Unplugging gives us a chance to be present for ourselves and everyone around us.  It's a good thing!

I'm always amazed (although I don't quite know why) when I see someone plugged in to an electronic contraption while walking among real live people. How can they prefer that to interacting with others? There is so much to be missed while being electronically plugged in, like people watching or listening to others' conversations for interesting tidbits.

Just for a day (or for an hour if you're so totally addicted) unplug from the electronics and plug in to real life. Look around you at what's going on. Fall in Michigan is a beautiful season...soak in the changing colors. It's truly God's paintbrush at work here. When you pass someone on the street, make eye contact and smile or say Hi. Don't be amazed when they smile back or nod. It's called human interaction, and it's worth experiencing.

Make today the day you unplug from electronics and plug in to life.  That's what is really important.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Purging Files

The next time you are doing a purge of files from your computer, remember to also purge the computer in your brain...especially if you have a folder marked "All The Things That Could Go Wrong".

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Faking It!

My new full-time position has kept me pretty busy. In fact, at times I feel overwhelmed...and very unproductive. Meetings keep popping up on my calendar at times when I have other things scheduled. Suddenly I'm very much in demand, or so it would seem.

I wish I could just teach my classes and counsel students. This is what I love...not the many meetings that have been added to my agenda. So I remember to breathe before sitting at the conference table, and I do my best to look interested when what I'm really hearing is someone droning on about something I already know or, worse yet, something that has nothing to do with me.

Maybe faking it is my new strategy to get through the day.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

How to Deal With Failure

I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game's winning shot...and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life.  And this is why...I succeed.                    

                                                       ~~Michael Jordan

Thomas Edison had over 3000 failures before making a light bulb.  Colonel Sanders peddled his "secret recipe of herbs and spices" to hundreds of people before finding someone to take a chance on it. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were rejected 123 times with the very successful book, Chicken Soup For The Soul.

Sadly most of us give up long before we experience anything like the people mentioned above.  Yet every failure brings us one step closer to success. Dare to try again when things don't work the first time...or the second or third or more. When you believe in yourself, success will find you.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88#gmail.com

It's All About Peace and Love

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, Make me an instrument of Thy peace.

Where there is hatred...Let me sow love.

Where there is injury...Pardon.

Where there is doubt...Faith.

Where there is despair...Hope.

Where there is sadness...Joy.

O Divine Master grant that I may seek not so much to be consoled...as to console.

To be understood...As to understand.

To be loved...As to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

~~St. Francis of Assisi

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com

Wise Words

People are often unreasonable and self-centered...Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives...Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you...Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous...Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow...Do good anyway.

Give the world the best  you have and it may never be enough...Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God...

It was never between you and them anyway.

~~Mother Theresa

It IS All In Your Head!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Reorganizing

Any reorganization inevitably passes through a stage of disorganization. ~Tadeusz Kotarbinski

For the next year, my blog posts will be more like "nuggets of wisdom" designed to be short and to the point. You see, I recently accepted an annual full-time contract position, so my more leisurely life will have to be put on hold.

In reality, it's all about reorganizing my life. Instead of having loads of idle time to fritter away (which is what I did with much of it), I now have to figure out how to get by with much less...time that is. So activities that were high priority (like napping), will have to slip down a bit in favor of actual work. But the trade-off will be worth it.

Reorganizing and reprioritizing is something we can all do if we want to make changes to our lives. Whether it's breaking a bad habit or just trying to be more productive, each of us can commit to changing to make it happen. But only you can decide if it's worth it to you.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Have A Little Laugh

There are three things which are real: God, human folly and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can with the third.  ~~John F. Kennedy

Don't you just love to laugh? I certainly do. There are two things guaranteed to make me laugh...a giggling baby and my husband trying on hats (he just doesn't have a "hat" kind of face).

When life is getting you down or you feel like you're going to explode, search "laughter" on youtube, watch reruns of King of Queens or some other sitcom that tickles your funnybone, or just start laughing...the real thing will soon follow.

Laughter is the one thing that makes life instantly better.  Here's a link to get you started.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Labor Day

Did you know that Labor Day was created in the 1800's by the labor movement to honor the social and economic achievements of the American worker...achievements which have added to the strength and prosperity of our country? Over the years, increased emphasis was placed on the new holiday; and on June 28, 1894, Congress declared the first Monday in September to be a legal holiday.

Early Labor Days consisted of a parade followed by a festival for the enjoyment of workers and their families. This tradition holds true today as families gather together to enjoy the three-day weekend.

Although many of us may take it for granted, this year, pause to reflect and honor the American Labor Force and the part we have all played in making American great.

Have a happy and safe Labor Day!

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Never Ask How

My daughter-in-law is returning to school to complete a Bachelor Degree.  The kids are in high school, and she is looking for future opportunities in the workplace. Although most of the family is very encouraging, her sister asked how she could do this when her job requires her to travel so often...a shadow of doubt.

Doubt is insidious...it creeps into the brain and spreads, making you question your decision.  "What are you thinking?" "There's no way you can possibly juggle school and a full-time job, especially a job that requires you to travel." "You will never be able to keep up with everything. What if you get your degree and you don't get promoted?" "It's safer to stay where you are."

I can only go my personal experience. I also worked full-time and went to school full-time. It was hectic, but once I got the rhythm of my new schedule down, it was certainly do-able. When it came time to do an internship, I remembered the words of one of my professors: "Say Yes to things you want to do. You will find a way". This turned out to be true for me. A woman who worked down the hall from me was in the same program as I and needed to do an internship at the same time as I. Her supervisor allowed her to rework her schedule to have a day off. Grudgingly my supervisor had to give me the same opportunity, which allowed me to complete an internship. Coincidence? I don't know. I had no idea who this woman was and didn't realize we were in the same program...but it certainly was a lucky break for me.

The moral of this story is...if you are driven to do something, never ask "How"...just say "Yes".  You will be amazed at how the universe aligns to make it possible.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

An Endless Rotating Wheel

"From unhealthy desires unhealthy actions follow, from unhealthy actions unhealthy experiences follow---like an endless rotating wheel."  

From: Open Your Mind, Open Your Life. A Little Book of Eastern Wisdom

Have you ever noticed that once you sink into a rut of negative thinking, negativity seems to permeate your entire life. Each moment, like the one before, makes you feel down. It's much like spiraling into an abyss so dark and black that you're not quite sure it will ever end.

There is a cure that seems so simple it couldn't possibly work, but it does. Every time you become aware of a dark thought or a feeling of helplessness, have a conversation with it. The conversation should go something like "I reject this thought and I reject this feeling. Instead I think I am wonderful and I feel great."

For those of you shaking your heads saying this is too silly to work, I say give it a try. It's not possible to hold opposing thoughts in your head at the same time. So replace the bad thoughts and feelings with positive thoughts and feelings. This will work for you just as it has for me.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Stop. Feel. Store. Write.

CLAP ALONG AND BE HAPPY!

Are you happy? Have you been happy today? How often are you happy in any given week? I think that when we have good feelings like happiness, we let them float by without paying much attention to how they feel. But when the feelings are not so great, we tend to dwell on them and notice their effect on our body and mind.

So how can you start noticing and staying with the happy feelings? How about making a Happiness List? I don't know about you, but I have all kinds of lists, mostly on scraps of paper that I can't find when I need them. But, back to the Happiness List...here are the steps (taken from A Teacher's Guide to Stick Up for Yourself! by Kaufman, Raphael and Espeland):

1.  STOP everything and notice what's making you happy.
2.  FEEL the happy feeling.
3.  STORE it inside of you.
4.  WRITE it down as soon as you can (preferably not on a random scrap of paper).

If you will do this faithfully five or more times a day for two weeks, I guarantee that your mood will lighten, you will be kinder to yourself and to others, and you will be happier about your life...even when the bad stuff creeps in.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Choose Kindness

Be a blessing to yourself and to everyone and everything you come in contact with today and everyday.

It seems that the people we expect to be kind and understanding sometimes disappoint us in a big way. When we look for a supportive word or gesture, we get a harsh reprimand or a display of impatience instead. And I don't need to tell you how unhelpful that is.

Every morning, I ask help to be a blessing to myself and everyone and everything around me. When I have to deal with a person who is getting on my last nerve, I take a moment and remind myself that kindness begins with me. I invite you to do the same. What we give comes back to us. We can change the world one person at a time.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

Enthusiasm: A Magic Wrinkle Eraser

I love this time of year.  Summer is winding down (this part I don't love so much), and students are getting ready to return to school.  My work as a college counselor allows me to meet first-time college students. Many are unsure or nervous about coming to college...no longer the big fish in a small pond...but still excited about the challenges awaiting them.

Their excitement moves me, and I am privileged to view the world through their eyes.  While I am in the twilight of my work life, their journey is just beginning.  Opportunities are scattered everywhere, waiting for the students to find them, pick them up and run with them.  So many choices to make; I'm sure it can be overwhelming.

But even when we are beyond this, our lives more settled, orderly, predictable...we still have the choice to stop for a moment and look at life with new eyes.  If each day seems the same as the last, we can choose to make each day different. Aldous Huxley said "The secret of genius is to carry the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm." Reach inside yourself to find that child who once saw the world filled with opportunities, who had endless imagination. Unleash new enthusiasm for life...erase the wrinkles from your soul. You can do this.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy
cakozak88@gmail.com

What's The Rush?

This post first appeared June 14, 2013

"We are always getting ready to live but never living"

                                   ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

While walking my dogs the other day, I noticed a candy someone had dropped on the sidewalk.  Covering the piece of candy were hundreds and hundreds of ants scurrying around in a frenzy, as if being on this piece of candy was their entire lifes' work. I was instantly reminded of our society today and how multi-tasking

Thomas Edison Was A Spider

This post first appeared on August 19, 2013

Success is not final, failure is not fatal.  It is the courage to continue that counts.              ~Winston Churchill

We have a Florida room in our home which is wonderful when we have company.  It's spacious and filled with windows.  Unfortunately, it's also filled with spiders.  While I have been known to escort insects out of the house alive and unharmed, spiders suffer a different fate at my hands...they are

Problems

No one's life is problem-free.  There are bumps in the road, hurdles that must be jumped and rivers that have to be crossed.  It's called life.

The fact is...the problems don't define who you are.  It's how you handle the problems that speaks volumes. How you deal with the bad stuff that shows up at your door determines the quality of your life. So take a breath and try singing...your voice just may be worse than your problem.

IT IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Cindy

cakozak88@gmail.com