When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
~ Stanislaw Lec
I was watching the Today Show recently, and 3 women who had undergone weight loss surgery were featured. While the women were happy with the weight loss they experienced, their lives didn’t
One woman’s marriage crumbled because her husband believed she didn’t need him any longer.
Another felt tremendous “survivor guilt” because her sister had died as a result of the same type of
surgery. And the third was bulimic – bingeing and purging – because she lived in terror of gaining the weight back. One of them summed it up by saying that when you’re overweight, you'll buy a lottery ticket and lose – and when you reach your desired weight, you’ll buy a lottery ticket and still lose.
It was a reminder to me that when we change ourselves on the outside, we are still the same person on the inside with the same hurtful messages running on that tape in our head. We continue carrying the same baggage with us and struggling with the same problems. People who win large sums of money often experience this. They may have all the money they need but still feel insecure and struggle with family issues (maybe even more so as family members come out of the woodwork expecting a share of the winnings). Even with their new financial security, many still believe their old self-talk about not being good enough.
Another thing that happens when we change is that our relationships change. Spouses may not give us the same support, and friends and family members may begin to resent us. Often the people in our lives will do things to sabotage us so we’ll go back to the way we were. We all get comfortable in the “sameness” of life, so when change occurs, it upsets the apple cart.
If you have experienced a positive change in yourself and you’re wondering if the results are worth it, they probably are. Just keep reminding yourself that changing on the outside doesn’t change what’s on the inside (that's your next step), and as you change, it will take others some time to accept the new you.
· Remember that your problems tag along with you when you change. So if you think losing weight or improving your appearance in some way will make your life perfect, think again. It doesn’t work that way.
· If friends and family have difficulty accepting the new you, don’t be discouraged. The people who truly love you will adapt to your change. And all the others don’t matter.
· If you like yourself after you change, that’s the most important thing. Don’t be sabotaged into changing back to your former self just because someone in your life can’t handle who you have become.