Monday, December 30, 2013

Good Bye 2013

Here are the most popular New Year's Resolutions for 2013.  They look fairly typical...lose weight, exercise more, and spend less.  As this year comes to a close, take a moment to think about any resolutions you made for 2013...and then ponder on how many you actually kept.  If the answer is a big fat zero, don't despair.  Remember, every day is a chance to start over.  We don't have to wait until January 1st to have a clean slate.  Today is a good day to take the first step in the direction you want to travel.

It IS All In Your Head!


Friday, December 27, 2013

Mother Theresa and Life


I so admire Mother Theresa because she found her life purpose and lived it until she died. Her life philosophy is a great one to live by.  The next time you're feeling that life is unfair or others have disappointed you, think about Mother Theresa's simple words of wisdom.  You may be surprised at the difference it can make in an otherwise terrible day.


It IS All In Your Head!



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas


Glory to God in the highest,

and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.

Luke 2:14

Merry Christmas from:
It IS All In Your Head!


Friday, December 20, 2013



Cooking (and baking) is like love.

It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.


~~Harriet Van Horne

It IS All In Your Head!  (and your tummy)


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

7 Days Until...

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.

~~Donald Westlake
It IS All In Your Head!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Relax. It's Just Christmas!

  Take A Breath.  It Will Be All Right.

As I look around my house, I see the Christmas tree which still needs to be decorated, gifts to be wrapped, other decorations to be hung, groceries to be bought, a house to be cleaned, goodies to be baked. . .yet, oddly enough, I’m more relaxed now than I have been in a long time.  You see, even

Friday, December 13, 2013

Things I Know For Sure


One part of our purpose here is to help others. 
We are not here to take and take and then take even more.  A great joy in life is giving. Being of service to others in need is payment for the space we take up on the planet.   

Silence is our internal voice talking to God.
Get silent...get into your own head and find out what’s rattling around there. Once you are comfortable with your silent voice, you’ll begin to be at peace with the world.

Listen more. 
Instead of formulating your response while someone is talking to you, try listening to everything they have to say instead. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Be happy in this moment for this moment is your life.
Our life slips away as we wait for something to be happy about.  Happiness is internal—stop looking for it outside of yourself.

Be mindful of the body-mind connection.
It’s real. What you do to one always impacts the other.

It IS All In Your Head!


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Instant Karma

Be careful of the things you do. What goes around, comes around. 

It IS All In Your Head.....or is it?

Monday, December 9, 2013

Holiday Myths

The holiday season is here. Are you already stressed out to the point that you’re not enjoying the holidays – in fact, you can’t wait for the whole thing to be behind you? According to the experts, the major cause of holiday stress is unrealistic expectations. Do you measure your expectations against what you see on television, in the movies, and by what others expect of you? If so, read these Holiday Myths, take a deep breath, and enjoy the holidays instead of making yourself miserable.

Myth #1: "Everything has to be perfect."

Give yourself permission to change your definition of "perfect" As long as whatever you do is done with love, it will be perfect.

Myth #2:  "Families must get together and enjoy each other's company."

I don't know of one single family that doesn't have some dysfunctional episodes, especially around the Holidays.  Being together often aggravates already strained relationships.  You can only control yourself, so let go of feeling responsible for any bickering relatives at the Holiday feast.

Myth #3:  "Giving is more important than receiving."

There is a true feeling of warmth and love when giving to others whatever the season.  But the fact's wonderful when someone remembers to give to you.  If you feel forgotten by your loved ones, then give something special to yourself and make no apologies for it.

Myth #4:  "The Holidays are a time of joy."

The Holidays can be very joyful, but they are also very hectic.  It's okay to feel overwhelmed and under appreciated.  When this happens, just take a breath and relax.  It's not up to you to do everything to make the Holidays special.  Ask for help and if none is forthcoming, then take a step back and do what you can to make them special for you instead.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, may it be blessed and safe!

It IS All In Your Head!


Friday, December 6, 2013


This post first appeared on July 24, 2013.  In this busy and stressful holiday season, I think it's good to practice these tips to achieve some sanity and life balance.

 You can always do one less thing that you think you can!

What would you do if someone gave you a gift of 525,600? Before you start thumbing through catalogs and looking at all of the things you could buy, I’m not talking about dollars. I’m referring to

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Be Happy!

Looking for lasting happiness outside yourself is meaningless.  It is like expecting to become fit by watching other people exercise.

              ~Taken from "Open Your Mind, Open Your Life" by Taro Gold

How many times have you told yourself "I will be happy as soon as I get..." or "Life will be better once I can..."  It's common to think we will be happier or our life will change for the better once something outside of us happens. 

The happiness that we get from "events" or "things" is fleeting at best.  Our spirits are momentarily lifted but soon come crashing down once the glow wears off.  But happiness that comes from inside us...that's a different story.  Lasting happiness comes from the heart...and that glow lights us forever.

It IS All In Your Head!


Monday, December 2, 2013


It is easy to be the person you have always been for it requires no change, no self-reflection and no growth.  It may appear that changing yourself requires giving up something.  In reality, there is no need to give up anything.  You must simply add to what has been. 

            ~~Taken from "Open Your Mind. Open Your Life" by Taro Gold

I love this bit of wisdom. We often look at change as giving up something and replacing it with something else. We try for a while and then revert back to what we know best.

Perhaps shifting our paradigm and looking at change as adding to who we are would make changing easier.  When we look through new eyes, things become clear.

It IS All In Your Head!


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Monday, November 25, 2013

F. E. A. R.

It's all right to feel fear and embrace it for a moment.  But, don't settle too long in its embrace.  Fear is really nothing more than...

False Evidence Appearing Real

It IS All In Your Head!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Dance Lesson

 Dance by Luciana Ruivo

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.  It's to enjoy each step along the way.

~~Wayne Dyer

As we go through life, we get caught up in the daily destination.  We rush through our days headed in some direction...often we don't know where or why. 
Take a breath and remember to enjoy the steps along the way.  It will make life so much better.
It IS All In Your Head!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A Little Hug Please

Some activities can boost your health and cost you nothing.  In today's world of high-priced medicine, that seems like a real bargain.  One of the easiest activities is a simple hug.  It's quick and noncommital and provides some real health benefits.

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~~Robert Frost     
It IS All In Your Head!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013


Everything starts as a thought.  Do not let anyone ridicule your thoughts and beliefs.  They are the start of something life changing. 

It IS All In Your Head!


Monday, November 11, 2013

Hug A Veteran Today

"Better than honor and glory, and History's iron pen,
Was the thought of duty done and the love of his fellow-men."
- Richard Watson Gilder

It IS All In Your Head!

Monday, November 4, 2013


We are each larger than life and as insignificant as a speck of dust at the same time.  The Universe is an amazing place.

It IS All In Your Head!


Friday, November 1, 2013

Past and Present

Often I find people reliving past events...not the happy times which would make them smile, but the sad times that make them cry.  Each remembrance etches the pain deeper in consciousness and makes the sadness easier to recall. 

Is that what we remember the things that brought us pain the first time and continue to be painful as times moves forward?  Are we so attracted to misery that we dwell in the dark places of our past?

~~Weekly Challenge~~

It's difficult to change our thought process only if we believe it's difficult.  The trick is to believe in the simplicity of changing a negative to a positive.

When a painful memory pops into your head, acknowledge that it's there, then simply think of something that brings you joy.  The pain will soon subside.

It IS All In Your Head


Wednesday, October 30, 2013


Halloween is the perfect time to wear a mask

But, before I can be my true self, I must take off my mask. 

Easier said than done.

It IS All In Your Head!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Wisdom Words

Work for a cause...Not for applause.

Live life to express...Not to impress.

Don't strive to make your presence noticed...

Just make your absence felt.




Good words to live by.  It IS All In Your Head!


Friday, October 25, 2013



George Bernard Shaw was a vegetarian and someone who was against animal experimentation.  Perhaps he was referring to the "truth" that to be fit for human consumption, products must first be tested on animals.

It IS All In Your Head!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Spiritual Beings

Anthony Douglas Williams...Inside The Divine Pattern

Humans act as if they have a lock on spirituality...but there are those of us who might disagree.   

It IS All In Your Head!


Monday, October 21, 2013

The Mirror

I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.

 ~Anna Quindlen


Sometimes we need to look in the mirror to find the love of our life.

It IS All In Your Head


Wednesday, October 16, 2013


This is great advice, don't you think?

· Avoid negative sources, people, places things and habits

Monday, October 14, 2013

Five Fingers

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

~Alice Walker

As an information hoarder, I have access to many hundreds of interesting tidbits collected over the last 20+ years.  Here's something I thought you might enjoy.

Five Finger Assessment of Friendship

1.  Thumb--the base.  Is sharing in the relationship both deep and broad?  Some relationships are one

Friday, October 11, 2013

Use It or Lose It

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. 

It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.

                                                                                   ~~Charles Darwin

The gym I belong to recently moved to a brand-spanking new location. The move had been in the works for almost 2 years, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen until my contract was done. I was comfortable at the old car knew the way automatically...the old equipment was worn

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. 

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.  

~Thomas Edison

This is the final and most powerful step to controlling your weight, so pay attention.  They say that hard work is it's own reward, and I suppose in  the case of working hard to shed some extra pounds that's true.  But I believe extra rewards will keep you motivated.  How about these suggestions:

*Splurge on something that you've had your eye on but couldn't justify spending money on.

*Let the laundry and housecleaning go for a day while you relax with your feet up.

*Play hookey and take the afternoon off of work.  Pack a healthy lunch and have a picnic.

*Spend the weekend watching your favorite old movies on TV.

*Have a favorite dessert that you've been avoiding...but only have one!  You don't want to undo all the wonderful progress you've made.

~~Take Action~~

Set a series of 5 pound "goal weights" for yourself.  Each time you reach one, give yourself a reward.  You deserve it.

If you've been doing the steps, you should be seeing some results whether it's in a lost pound or two, extra energy, strong motivation or just an overall feeling that life is good because you're in control. If you haven't been actively putting these strategies to work for you, why not? What are you waiting for?



This post is the final in a series excerpted from my class "Six Powerful Weight Loss Strategies"

Monday, October 7, 2013

Visualize Your Success!

Mirror, mirror on the wall.  I'm the most awesome one of all!

We've covered some of the physical strategies to help you reach your goal.  Today, we'll cover a mental strategy that works for weight  loss or any other goal you're trying to reach.  Actually seeing yourself as successful is critical to succeeding.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Break Fast

A day without breakfast surely cannot be one of your best.

A study done at Vanderbilt University in Nashville compared two groups of moderately obese people.  Both groups were put on a 1200 calorie per day diet.  One group has these calories portioned out between breakfast, lunch and dinner, while the second group had the calories divided between

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


 Nothing lifts me out of a bad mood better

than a hard workout on my treadmill. It never fails.

Exercise is nothing short of a miracle.

~ Cher

My last post was about eliminating calories by changing eating habits. Now let's learn about exercising for fun...or "fun-ercising".  Don't make a face or roll your eyes.  All movement burns

Monday, September 30, 2013

Calories...The Good, Bad and Ugly

When we take in more calories than we burn, we gain weight.  But what is a calorie anyway?  A calorie is simply a measurement of energy contained in the food we eat.  We all need energy (or fuel) to function everyday, and we get that from food.  Our bodies use this fuel and burn it to produce the

Mindful Eating

                               Never order food in excess of your body weight. 

                                                   ~~Erma Bombeck

The Holiday Season (and all the tempting food that comes with it) will be here before we know it.  To head off possible gluttonous feasting and the guilt and regret that follows, my next 6 posts will be from a course I taught on weight control strategies. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Sing A Song of Joy

                     Everything is blooming most recklessly. If it were voices instead of colors,    
                        there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.

                                              ~Rainer Maria Rilke     German Poet (1875-1926) 

So many experiences can lead us to that exquisite feeling we call joy – a smile from a stranger, a hug from a loved one, a personal goal that’s been accomplished. I find joy in the antics of my dogs, Hannah and Roscoe, as they roll around in the grass with total delight.  If dogs had lips, I know they would be smiling.  

I find joy in the songs of the birds in the pre-dawn hours as I stumble around half awake, and in the fragrance of a crisp Fall morning. There’s something especially joyous for me when I’m running and I witness the sun – this huge orange flaming ball -- in all of it’s fiery splendor rising on the horizon.

I believe joy is all around us if we just look for it. But too often, we’re preoccupied with other things, and we let these opportunities for small joys pass us by. Instead of taking delight in the birds singing at 4:00 a.m., we might slam the window shut and curse them for being so noisy. Instead of reveling in the coolness of the morning, we might focus on the ever shorter days and the coming of cold weather.

We all want to be happy – to feel joyful. Yet we often overlook the simple pleasures that are right in front of us...things that are part of our everyday world. When we start to take the time to notice, appreciate and celebrate these everyday pleasures, we will reap the rewards of joy.

Joy is all around us if we just open our eyes and look for it.

~~Weekly Challenge~~

Start a "Joy Journal".  Every day, take a few moments to think about the small joys that surround you.  Record them in your Joy Journal.  During those times when you're feeling a little down, open your Journal and read.  It's guaranteed to brighten your day.



Monday, September 23, 2013


Surround Yourself With Happy Faces

A lifetime ago, when I was a secretary at General Motors, the Sales Department was big on acronyms and motivational messages to the dealer body.  My guess is they are still big on both.  One motivational acronym that has stuck in my mind all these years is PMA...Positive Mental Attitude.

I'm a "glass-half-full" kind of person, and here are my best tips for cultivating and maintaining PMA:

Expect Good Things
Often our expectations turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.  Loretta LaRoche says that if we expect the worst and get the worst, we suffer twice.  But if we expect the best and get the worst, we only suffer once.  I see the wisdom in this logic.  It's better to be happy and then disappointed than to only be disappointed.

Hold On To Happy Thoughts
The name of this blog is "It's All In Your Head".   Do I really need to say more?

Add Positive People To Your Life
It's human nature to be chameleon-like and change ourselves to mirror the people in our life.  Choose friends who are negative and hateful, and that's who you become in their presence.  But, choose friends who are supportive and positive, and see what happens.  It's magical.

Look For The Good
Bad things happen to everyone.  It's not the situation, but what you do with it that matters.  Look for the kernel of truth or the lesson you must learn in every bad situation you encounter.  Remember...the broken places make you stronger.

Picture Yourself A Winner
When you look in the mirror, see a huge sign behind you that says "Winner" with an arrow pointing at you.  Don't wait until you see it before you believe it.  When you believe it, it will appear.

And remember, it truly is All In Your Head.


Cindy Kozak

Friday, September 20, 2013

10 Steps to Success

I'm not a believer in the word "try" because I think people often use it as an excuse.  "I'm trying to..." quite often means "I didn't get it right the first time. What else do you want from me?"  But I believe that those people who are successful try until they get it right. 

I found a poster with the following words of wisdom in an office at work.  There was no author, so I don't know who gets the credit, but the poster did make me smile, and it might motivate someone to try one more time.


  1. Try
  2. Try again.
  3. Try once more.
  4. Try a little differently.
  5. Try again tomorrow.
  6. Try and ask for help.
  7. Try to find someone who's done it.
  8. Try to determine what is not working.
  9. Try to determine what is working.
  10. Just keep trying.

~~Weekly Challenge~~

If there is something you have given up on, I suggest making your own poster with these 10 Steps and hanging it in a prominent location where you can see it daily.  It might inspire you all the way to success.

P.S.  If you know who wrote these 10 Steps to Success, please shoot me an email so I may give credit where credit is due.



Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Am Not A Goose

Humans are remarkable.  We have the gift of choice, which allows us to change the course of our lives.  Heading in one direction, we can stop and turn on a dime.  If we don't like what we're doing, we can do something else.  All other creatures are driven by instinct.  Take geese.  They fly south in the winter.  If one goose suggests that maybe flying west to California might be a good idea, the other

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Unholy Trio

As with any good book, I flipped to the last chapter and began reading. The subject was fear, and the "Unholy Trio" comprises indecision, doubt and fear. The book is "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, which is one of the best motivational books I've ever read.

The Unholy Trio is alive and active in most of us. Indecision is the first inkling you have that you

Friday, September 13, 2013

Career Turbulance

                                  If you won't care for yourself, who will?  Self-care matters.

If you lose your job, it's likely to be a shock -- even if it's something you saw coming. Too often, we use our job title to define who we are. When we lose that job, does that mean that we "aren't"? Of

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Building Muscles

                                  You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

                                                               ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

You were born with only two natural fears – the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear you have has been learned. Governments,

Monday, September 9, 2013

Life Fences


                           We teach others how to treat us by everything we say and do. 
                     If you don't like how others treat you, you are the one who must change.

Do other people in your life take advantage of you, tease you, or treat you in ways that you find unacceptable?  It's been said that fences make good neighbors. Perhaps you need to build your own

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Calm Your Spirit


                              Give yourself permission to enjoy your life. Stop and smell the roses.

Your spirit is calm when you believe in yourself – when you love yourself and know that you are following your path. A calm spirit means that you’re at peace with yourself – and you’re at peace

Monday, September 2, 2013

Help is Just a Hotline Away

As a counselor, I have access to referral sites where I can direct others in times of crisis.  However, none are as powerful as these "Holy Hotlines" I found posted on Facebook.  I included the verses to make this list more complete.

Worry Hotline:
1 Peter 5:7   Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

Fear Hotline:
Isaiah 41:10   So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Temptation Hotline:
1 Corinthians 10:13   The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Doubt Hotline:
Romans 10:7   Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

Suicide Hotline:
John 10:10  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Sickness Hotline:
Isaiah 53:5   But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.

Depression Hotline:
Psalms 34:18   The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.

Loneliness Hotline:
Deuteronomy 31:8  The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave your nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

If none of the traditional "self-help" books seem help, you can always turn to the ultimate self-help book.  It's been around for a long time for a reason.  It works.



Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Sticks and Stones Part 2

Sticks and Stones may break my bones

But your words can totally destroy me

After I finished my blog article about the power of words, imagine my surprise at picking up the Detroit Free Press (8/25/13) and finding an

Monday, August 26, 2013

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones

But words will never hurt me

Were you taught that rhyme as a child?  I was.  Here's the reality I found out as an adult.  It's a lie told to me and thousands of other children,

Friday, August 23, 2013

When Milk Comes Out Of My Nose

The person who knows how to laugh at himself
Will never cease to be amused.
~~Shirley McLaine

Laughter is the best medicine.  It is healing.  It is exercise for your heart and lungs.  And, according to Woody Allen, he's thankful for laughter...except when milk comes out of his nose. 

Monday, August 19, 2013

Thomas Edison Was A Spider

              Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.
                                                         ~Winston Churchill

We have a Florida room in our home which is wonderful when we have company.  It's spacious and filled with windows.  Unfortunately, it's also filled with spiders.  While I have been known to escort insects out of the house alive and unharmed, spiders suffer a different fate at my hands...they are

Friday, August 16, 2013

You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.  You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.          ~~Buddha

These are some of my favorite affirmations.  I hope you will find them as uplifting as I do.

If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.  ~~Thomas Edison

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.  ~~Albert Einstein

Our ideas, like orange plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots.     ~~Edward Bulwer Lytton

Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in others' gardens. ~~Douglas Jerrold

Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right. ~~Aldous Huxley

Try to be like the turtle--at ease in your own shell.  ~~Bill Copeland

Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says "I'm possible".  ~~Audrey Hepburn

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.  ~~Leo Buscagalia

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  ~~Anais Nin

This affirmation stands alone. Repeat it often as you face yourself in the mirror.  Believe it.  It is true.

~~Weekly Challenge~~

My challenge for you this week is to repeat the above affirmations, or make up your own. 

Repeat them as if you mean them several times every day for 21 days.  You will be amazed at how your spirits will be lifted.


Cindy Kozak

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Granny Panties

                                  No one is a better representation of you than you!

For years, I watched Oprah and was a big fan.  It seemed to me that she had a general "I accept you as you are" attitude for most people, and I liked that.  Also, I felt she encouraged us...her

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Tools For The Work of Living!

Be mindful of each moment in your day. SLOW DOWN! Your journey is not only about arriving at your destination. The journey is the journey. The end is not the journey. The destination will be what it will be, but did you enjoy the way?
                                                                ~~Ron Rathbun

When the daily realities of life have us spinning out of control, there are several ways we soothe ourselves. The 4 “biggies” are eating, drinking, smoking and spending.  Some of you may be quite proficient in achieving life balance when things start getting crazy, but others have a tougher time.

I found some powerful and easy to follow solutions in the book, "The Pathway: Follow the Road to

Monday, August 5, 2013


                                        Technology is a weed in the garden of life.

Are you a Techno-Addict?  What about someone you love...spouse, kids, friends?  Technology is pervasive. As with many addictions, it starts in a small, non-invasive way, and before we know what

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Caveman and Me

                                            "There is more to life than increasing its speed."
                                                                   ~Mohandas K. Gandhi

A caveman was walking through the jungle, club in hand, searching for dinner. He heard a twig snap and turned his head in the direction of the sound. There behind a bush he spied a saber toothed tiger. He froze. The tiger and the caveman eyed each other, each thinking "Mmmm dinner". Then, inside

Monday, July 29, 2013

Yes and No!

 It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide on what to do.

                                                             --Elbert Hubbard

I think we are all aware of the problems we cause ourselves when we say Yes to things and we really
want to say No. We become overburdened, resentful, and our time is no longer our own. To stop this
behavior, we need to look no further than the mirror.  We say Yes when No is desperately trying to

Friday, July 26, 2013

When You Change, Everything Changes

        When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
                                                               ~ Stanislaw Lec

I was watching the Today Show recently, and 3 women who had undergone weight loss surgery were featured.  While the women were happy with the weight loss they experienced, their lives didn’t

Monday, July 15, 2013

Nowhere To Run. Nowhere To Hide.

                        "You do not have to like what is going on in your life, but
                         you must accept that it, whatever it is, is going on. As long
                          as you do not accept reality, you are powerless to define 
                        the role you will play. Failure to accept reality is a denial of 
                         your power to make a conscious choice. When you do not
                      choose, you live by default. You are a victim of circumstances."
                                                               ~~Iyanla Vanzant

I recently met with a friend.  She was stressed out because she and her husband couldn’t decide if they should move to a new home or stay put. Actually, her husband had already decided – he liked where he lived just fine. She was the one who couldn’t decide what to do.

We talked about the pros and cons of staying in their current home. On the pro side, she and her husband built the house, her children grew up there, it was on a large piece of property near a lake,

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

An 8th Day Of The Week?

                 "Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can
            determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."
                                                                           ~Carl Sandburg

How many things do you have on a secret wish list that you hope to do “someday”? But there’s just no time right now. The fact of the matter is we all have the same 1440 minutes every day, the same 3600 seconds every hour. Time is a valuable resource...perhaps our most valuable how are you spending yours?

Almost everyone I talk to is racing around, trying to fit in so many things, and wishing they had more time. In this age of technology and modern conveniences which could give us more time we seem to

Monday, July 1, 2013

Risky Business

                        “And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was
                                        more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
                                                                                                           ~Anais Nin~

How much risk are you willing to take in your life? I’m not talking about life and death risk, I’m referring to the risk involved in stepping out of the comfort of your daily life and trying something
new. I’m always surprised by the number of people I meet who have wonderful, exciting plans that they keep putting off. Something “more important” always seems to pop up in their lives and moves
them off track.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Make Some Brain Candy!

This is about exercise, but please don’t stop reading yet. Exercise is the activity we find most difficult to integrate into our lives,  so I’m sure many of you will just dismiss this information with a “That’s nice,  but I don’t have time” attitude.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Spending vs. Investing


Are you a spender or an investor? I’m not talking about finances
here – this is something infinitely more precious. I’m talking about
your time. Time is a resource that isn’t renewable once it’s gone.
You can’t barter with a colleague to get more time. You can’t drive

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Habit of Success

If someone has never experienced success, they have little chance of developing a habit of success because they don't know what success feels like.  Instead, they're only too well acquainted with the
frustration of feelings of failure.  This is why it's so important to put children in situations where they
will they will know at an early age what it feels like to be a winner.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Computer Gremlin

                                          Watch your thoughts; they become words.
                                          Watch your words; they become actions.
                                          Watch your actions; they become habits.
                                          Watch your habits; they become character.
                                          Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Our brains are always turned on—even when we’re sleeping. We’re always giving ourselves feedback or self-talk. And that self-talk comes from 2 different voices in our head – our spirit which

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Sky's The Limit

Helen Keller said that life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing. For your life to have meaning, you must take risks. They allow you to grow and move forward. Life without risk isn’t living at all—it’s just staying in the same place doing the same thing.  
I’m no stranger to risk taking. When I was 41, I went back to college to get my degree – I took the risk. I retired early from General Motors – a huge risk for me.  And, when I was asked to be the

Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Daughter's Forgiveness

                "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it"
                                                                                   ~~Mark Twain

Today is Fathers Day so for all you dads out there – have a great day.

My father died in 1970 just before his 53rd birthday. I hadn’t spoken to him for 5 years prior to that because I hated him. (Harsh words, but all too true for me at the time) He was an alcoholic who was mean when he was drinking, and I finally decided I’d had enough of the yoyo cycle of anger and forgiveness. So I chose to stay in anger mode...even after he died.

I wasn’t sorry he was gone. It made my life easier because it was one less thing to deal with.  But after many years of soul-searching and self-examination, I have come to terms with our relationship.   While I know nothing of his life as a child, I believe that my grandparents factored heavily into who my father was because they were not warm and loving to any of their children. So I think my father gave my brother and me what he knew how to give – which wasn’t much. I believe he had his own demons chasing him and that he gave us the best he could based on what he had been taught.

I forgave him years ago because I needed to free myself. And I often wish he were alive today because I would love to know what went on in his life to make him who he was. Our relationship today would be much better, I just know it.

So to those of you who have loving relationships with your fathers, congratulations. Take this day to honor them. And for any of you whose relationships are built on fear, distrust, and hate, believe that you can work through the bitterness and find peace. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning what someone has done. Forgiving doesn’t even mean that you have to let the other person know that you forgive them. It means that you push the hatred out of your own heart, and you do it for your own inner peace so that you can be a better person.

So today, honor your father. And if your relationship was similar to mine, believe that if he knew better, he would have done better.

~~Weekly Challenge~~

Forgive someone in your life who has caused you pain. If you’re not sure how to start, write them a letter telling them exactly how you feel. Let your heart spill out on to the page.

When you’re done, re-read the letter. If you choose, go ahead and mail it, knowing that you will be opening the door to more pain until all the issues are resolved. If you choose not to mail it, tear it up and throw it away.

Either way, you will have made a start to clear bitterness from your heart.



Friday, June 14, 2013

What's The Rush?

                                "We are always getting ready to live but never living"
                                                           ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson
While walking my dogs the other day, I came upon a candy someone had dropped on the
sidewalk.  Covering the piece of candy were hundreds and hundreds of ants scurrying around in a
frenzy, as if being on this piece of candy was their entire lifes’ work. I was instantly reminded of
our society today and how multi-tasking is viewed as a virtue instead of an insidious way to cram

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Follow Your Roadmap

                              "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
                                        as what you become by achieving your goals"
                                                                                          ~~Henry David Thoreau

I was watching "My Cousin Vinnie", which still cracks me up even after seeing it for the umpteenth
time. One scene that sticks in my mind is when the characters' car is stuck in the mud.  They try
rocking it and flooring it, but it just sinks deeper.  It occurred to me that sometimes life is like
that...we're spinning our wheels and going nowhere.  We work so hard and so long on something

Monday, June 10, 2013

Can Anybody Hear Me?

                   "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."
                                                                                        ~~Peter F. Drucker

Communication is more than words. In fact, 93% of communication is non-verbal and only 7% the words you speak. Here are some tips to bolster your non-verbal message.

1. Posture

 "So what does posture have to do with someone listening to what I have to say?” you might be asking yourself. But think about it. When someone is slouched over, how likely are you to pay attention? After all, if they thought their words were important, wouldn’t they present themselves in that manner?

Standing up straight and tall, just like mom told you to do when you were a kid, makes a difference. Someone who carries themselves with confidence makes a statement even before they open their mouth.

2. Eye Contact
Have you ever tried to talk to someone who would not look you in the eyes? Frustrating isn’t it? When you have something to say, it’s important, and there is someone out there who needs to hear it. Making eye contact conveys a feeling of “I believe in what I say, and I believe my words will be of use to you.”

3. Vocal Variety

I remember a professor I had years ago. When he spoke, the tone of his voice never changed. Needless to say, the class was a real snoozer. Even when you’re not speaking formally to a group, it’s a good idea to vary the tone of your voice to keep people interested. If you’re not sure now to do this, start paying attention to people on television. One person who I think does a terrific job with vocal variety is Keith Morrison who often narrates segments of Dateline NBC which can be found on

4. Facial Expression

The next time you’re in the bathroom shaving or putting on your makeup, have a conversation with yourself in the mirror. We all talk to ourselves anyway, so put these little talks to good use. Watch your face. Can you determine if you’re happy, angry, or just plain disinterested? When you are talking to someone, they are reading your face even more than listening to your words, so facial expression is an important part of communication.

5. Vocabulary

It’s not necessary to dazzle people with words they need to look up in the dictionary. It is a good idea to become aware of your speaking vocabulary. Make a tape of yourself speaking casually. Now count the number of times you use words and phrases such as “like”, “awesome”, “you know”, “kind of” and other colloquialisms. You might want to break the habit and clean up your vocabulary.

We all want to be heard and understood. Practicing these 5 simple tips, will help you get your message across and make yourself heard.



Friday, June 7, 2013

People Who Need People

                  "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be
           dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can
                                 muster. Your life will never be the same again."
                                                                                                           ~~Og Mandino

Have you ever noticed that people don’t seem very friendly anymore? We seem so consumed by our To Do Lists that we don’t take time to look around us. I noticed it last week while I was grocery shopping. People were pushing their carts, searching the shelves for bargains, glancing at their

Monday, June 3, 2013

Jump The Hurdles to Success

           "People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they are unwilling to
                             improve themselves.  They therefore remain bound."
                                                                                                    ~James Allen

I speak to so many people who seem to want more from life. They have dreams and goals to
accomplish, yet so few of them actually get started. They never develop a plan to reach their
dreams or list the steps to reach their goals. Why? Because they get mired down thinking about

Thursday, May 23, 2013

A Story About The Potter

                            "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way
                                           you carry it." ~~ Lena Horne

A couple took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their
25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.
Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked, "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite
so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I
have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Choice Is All Yours!

                      "Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
                                   A terrible thing: no one to blame."
                                                                                             ~~ Erica Jong

I was licking the last bits of chocolate frosting from my fork this morning, when it occurred
to me that it was my husband’s fault that I was eating this. After all, if he hadn’t brought the
cake home, I would have never caved in to the temptation. He always does this to
me – bringing home cakes, cookies or candy when he knows I can’t resist them. In his own
loving way, he’s sabotaging my efforts to eat healthier, and I do enough sabotaging on my
own, so I don’t need any help.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Nothing Will Change Until You Do!

                    You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
                              ~ Albert Einstein

I once worked with a client who wanted to get into better shape for her upcoming high school reunion. I outlined steps she could take to modify her meals so she was eating healthier food
and consuming fewer calories, and I suggested adding exercise to the mix to quicken the
weight loss process.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Because It's Easier

                 A dream does not become reality through magic;
                  it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
~Colin Powell

It seems as if our society has been conditioned to believe that if it’s easy, it’s worth doing, but
if it’s difficult, why bother. The media bombards us with ads showing us how to cut corners
and get results easily.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Learn A New Language!

"The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot
be changed without changing our thinking." -- Albert Einstein

I’m a big believer in incorporating positive self-talk into my life by saying positive
affirmations, and I encourage others to do the same.  Recently someone pointed out to
me how simplistic this strategy was. After all, why did I think that thinking happy thoughts
would make life better. In short, positive affirmations were a waste of time and didn’t